About My Blog

Many blogs will give you detailed directions and descriptions of the hike as if they’re bringing you along with them. This blog is not one of them. I just want to share my personal thoughts on these excursions and practice my non-existent photography skills. I also know nothing of botany, and will not pretend to. To call me a nature lover is misleading. I love plastic bottles and gas guzzlers, and I support hunting whales and excessive exploitation of natural resources. My preference is to explore and trample through nature, and will do so till I am physically unable. Sarcasm, foul language, and bad humor may be seen from time to time. If you’re offended, here are some suggestions. Click the ‘back’ button, browse some other site, close your navigation window, or throw your computer across the room, effectively losing any "cool" status you may have had.

Here are clearer descriptions of the statistics I use with each post. Please enjoy your stay.

This is how long it takes me to personally finish the hike, not the group. Includes all breaks.

Everyone has different cardiovascular fitness levels, so I disregard it as a factor. If a hike is too hard because you're out of breath, then you’re either out of shape, or you didn’t eat your breakfast. Difficulty levels are based on the skill, agility, and quick thinking needed to navigate the obstacles of any given hike. The different levels and explanations are as follows:
  • CRYBABY – Someone with no limbs could complete this hike.
  • EASY – One may complete this hike extremely drunk, or asleep.
  • MEDIUM – Anyone who can climb a 20 foot ladder, play hopscotch, and beat level 1-1 of Super Mario will be fine.
  • HARD – One needs to keep their balance on roller-skates, do one real pull-up, and catch something quickly when someone yells “Heads up!”
  • MENTAL - Do 50 double jumps in a row with jump rope, rule at a game of Twister, and solve a Rubiks cube in under three minutes, and you MAY be okay.  Applies to hikes only completed by a small number of people.
  • NEAR IMPOSSIBLE – One should be able to climb vertical trees with no branches, run on an icy balance beam, lift their body weight multiple times, and navigate a mile long obstacle course blindfolded in 30 minutes. These hikes have sketchy reports of being completed without definitive evidence.
  • IMMINENT DEATH – One should be able to catch flies with chopsticks consistently, walk on water and be freaking insane with big brass balls! There are no reports of anyone ever completing these excursions.
Applies only to those who actually join the hike, not those we run into. Everyone gets a nickname on their first hike, and it’s usually based on something that stands out about them on that particular outing, whether it is what they’ve done, what they’re wearing, or what they say. Nicknames stick even if they don’t like it, unless they did something on subsequent hikes that just dominates.

Rehike values are not "official" or based on some internationally recognized grading system. This is only my personal willingness to do it again. Others may have different opinions. For example, I love doing Stairway to Heaven – Middle Ridge, but others think it’s too tiring and will not do it again. This score can be temporarily bumped up if you're of the opposite gender and super hot.

I LOVE to hike and I LOVE sharing my experiences with all of you BUT, unfortunately, LOVE doesn't write the checks for all of the resources and logistics involved in these wonderful (but sometimes expensive) excursions.  My LOVE for all of you is free though ... especially if you're good looking.  Male, female, or in between somewhere ... I don't discriminate.  Regardless, thank you all and please enjoy the blog.